Bump In The Night
by koosei
Summary: When Alfred stays at his brothers for the night of a World Conference, the last thing he expects is to be assaulted in the middle of the night by ghosts and monsters! It's a good thing he's the hero ... or not?


So I'm back to writing fanfiction! After ….. I think it's been about 5 years. ^.^'' hehehe. I've been out of the game for a while, so hopefully this isn't too bad.

Also, the obvious and obligatory:

_I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THESE CHARACTERS!  
>The Hetalia characters, England, America and Canada, belong to Hidekaz Himaruya.<br>The idea of House Hippos belongs to the Concerned Children's Advertisers (CCA), the original creators of the House Hippo commercial._

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The storm wasn't what had woken the blonde man up. The lightning flashing through the window hadn't done it either, although it certainly added to the atmosphere in the quiet house. No, what had sent him into quakes was the soft pitter patter of invisible feet and the low groans and grumbles with no apparent maker.

"No, seriously dude. I think this place is haunted." He's careful to keep his voice hushed and barely audible lest whatever it is find his hiding place behind his brother's couch.

A tired sigh can be clearly heard through the receiver of the blonde's cell phone. "And what do you expect me to do about it, America?"

"You can do that magic-thing! Come exorcise it or something!"

A choked curse barely makes it through the phone line. "No, I bloody well will not! It's the middle of the night, and too late to be going anywhere. Go bother someone else." A click and silence leaves America staring in the phone in a shocked stupor.

A low growl blending in with the thunder sends him scurrying back into the corner he'd made, couch now jutting away from the wall in an angle. "But Iggy ..." he whines at the now quiet phone, clutching it like a lifeline while his eyes dart blindly around the room. Shadows cover the entire space, furniture looming in the darkness and looking infinitely more ominous in the midnight darkness than he'd remembered.

Briefly, he considers the trek upstairs to climb into bed with his brother, something he hadn't done since they were children. Not because he was afraid though! Not at all! He'd be the hero! He has to make sure his little brother's okay, and that the ghosts won't get him in the middle of the night. Mattie's always gotten easily scared, after all. He nods his head, mind made up, and starts creeping towards the end of the couch.

Lightning flashes, sending shadows jumping against the far wall of Canada's living room, and America skitters back into his corner with a whimper. He tries to hide under a blanket hastily torn from the couch, but can't stop shaking from the image of a large shadow cast on the wall, giant mouth gaping wide. His mind races, conjuring images of a monster standing behind him next to the window, just waiting for him to try to escape again, and any thoughts of going to save his brother flee from his mind.

It takes him a very long time to fall back asleep, and when he does it's plagued by B-movie monsters and hauntings that end badly for the hero. 

In the morning another blonde, almost identical to the other but leaner and with wavy hair and an errant curl, wanders into the kitchen, a small white bear following on his heels.

"Food?"

A fond sigh and the blonde reaches into the fridge, pulling out a packet of fish. "Hold on, Kumakichi." Placing it in a dish, he lowers it to the floor and almost gets tripped over by the bear in its rush to get to the plate. "Slow down, it won't go anywhere." A soft whisper of a laugh follows the mumbled 'hungry' that he gets from the bear.

"You're always hungry" is whispered at no one in particular as he pulls ingredients from the cupboards of the kitchen. Measuring and mixing follows, and soon enough the kitchen is full of the smell of breakfast.

Plates are set and stacks of pancakes are loaded up, eggs and bacon soon following. Once everything is done, he ventures into the living room, knowing his brother likes to be able to eat before he does anything else in the morning. He stops in the doorway, violet eyes blinking in shock behind wire frames when he sees the overnight changes. The coffee table is now on the other side of the room, leaning on its side against the bookcase and pillows and blankets are strewn all over the room as if there'd been a fight. And instead of being flush against the wall, the sofa bed that he'd set up for his brother is now forming an almost 45 degree angle with that same wall. "A-Al?"

He ventures into the room cautiously, righting the coffee table and picking up pillows as he makes his way to the bed. "Al? Are you okay?" He's about to push the bed back against the wall when he sees a mound of blankets hidden behind it. Or rather, he notices the rather distinctive strand of hair sticking out from the peak of the blankets where it leans against the wall.

He approaches the bundle carefully, not wanting to startle his brother into another panic like he'd apparently had last night. "Al? Hey Al, it's okay. It's morning now."

The blankets stir before slowly revealing a pair of sky blue eyes. "Mattie? They're gone?"

"Umm ... yes?" He answers hesitantly, not sure if he wants to ask what has America so terrified. He knows from experience that sometimes it's better not to know.

A giant grin breaks out and America tosses the blanket away, jumping out from the behind the couch. "Awesome! I wasn't scared, really. They'd just backed me into a corner and I couldn't get out. Awesome job scaring them away though, Mattie! The hero's sidekick does it again! Ooh! Is that breakfast I smell?"

The tanned blonde laughs boisterously as he darts out of the room, leaving his brother holding the blanket and staring after him in confusion.

America looks up from his almost empty plate of pancakes when his brother returns to the kitchen. "You know Mattie, you really should do something about that though. You should see if you can get England to come over and banish them or something." He mumbles this over a mouthful of food, gesturing with his fork the whole time. Canada has so much practice listening to his brother though, that he has no problem understanding what he's said.

Matthew sighs as he reaches for the maple syrup he'd set out. He can feel another headache coming on. "What are you talking about, Al?"

"The ghosts and monsters, Mattie! You need to get them before they get you! I know how this happens! You leave them alone, hoping they'll be peaceful, and they lull you into thinking they are, but then one night, you're home alone and all these odd things are happening. You go to bed thinking it'll all be over in the morning and things'll be back to normal, but then they get you! And they make you one of them or torment you till you go insane and turn on everyone around you! And then you're all alone wondering where you'll hide the bodies while you plan how to get your next victim, and then we're all screwed and running for our lives!" Canada's now staring at his brother in a _I-should-be-surprised-but-I'm-really-not_ kind of shock. "So you really need to get rid of them before they turn evil on you."

It takes Canada a few seconds before he can actually formulate a response for his completely serious brother. "But I don't have any ghosts, Al. It's just me and Kumaji here."

"Nuh uh! You got lots of them! I saw 'em last night! All groaning and roaring, and it was really big and had this giant mouth full of teeth! And they sounded angry!"

Canada shakes his head at him. "I don't know what you're talking about, Al. I haven't had a ghost move in here in years. Maybe it was Kumakiro you saw? He wanders at night sometimes." He whispers a 'nevermind' in response to the 'who?' that floats up from the polar bear sitting patiently under the table.

There's a skeptical pause. "Nah, I don't think it was him, Mattie."

"Well I don't know what it was then, because I don't have any ghosts."

"But what about ... "

"No Al. I don't have any monsters living in my house either."

"But I ... "

"There's nothing here."

"Can you at least get Iggy to check?"

Matthew stands up from the table, putting the dishes in the sink and pointedly ignoring his brother. Whispering something to his bear, he finally turns and meets his brother's unrelenting stare. Alfred's lip has started quibbling, and he's making the kicked-puppy face.

"... Fine." He sighs, not willing to go through the trouble (re: pestering) of continuing to say no. "I'll talk to him after the meeting today."

Al jumps up from his seat, megawatt grin on his face and about to shout something, only to be interrupted by a voice at his feet. "Toast gone. Need more."

A look of surprise is sent to the little polar bear. "Eh? They don't usually eat so fast. Maybe it was the storm." His brother forgotten, Matthew slides a couple pieces of bread into his toaster and starts rummaging through his cupboard.

"Oh yeah! Thanks, Mattie, for leaving that toast and peanut butter out." He grins and slings an arm over his brothers shoulder, failing to notice his brother's sudden stiffening. "How'd you know I'd get the munchies last night?"

"Al ..."

"Yeah, Mattie?"

"You ate all the toast I'd left out?"

Alfred looks at Matt in confusion, briefly considering lying about it. Even if he can't read the atmosphere to save his life, he's developed a knack for telling when his brother's about to get angry at him.

"All gone. No crumbs. No tracks."

Al shoots a tiny glare at the traitorous bear before he notices his brother's flat stare. "Al. Those weren't meant for you."

"What? Why'd you leave them out then?"

"Not everything is done for you, America. I'd left it out for the ..." Canada's glare turns into a look of suspicious curiosity. "What exactly did you hear last night?"

"Umm ... monsters?"

"Seriously, Al. Roars, growls, something chanting _'I'll grind your bones to make my bread'_? What?"

"Umm, roars? I guess? And really deep growls! They were huge too! You shoulda seen the size of those things! I tried to get to you Mattie, but I couldn't get away! They kept charging at me, and they'd do it every time I tried to leave the room! I'm sorry I couldn't be your hero!"

"It's okay, Al. Nothing got me. Did you see what they looked like?" Canada's tone is still serious, but he's starting to have trouble holding back his grin.

"Nah! They knew better than to let the hero see them! I saw their shadows as they charged though. Freaking huge! They had giant mouths, and huge teeth!" America, oblivious to his brother's amusement, spreads his arms in a mimicry of the monster's size.

Canada let's his brother ramble on for a couple minutes about how big the monsters were, and how he wasn't scared and he was glad his little bro was okay, and those were some huge teeth on those things, and maybe Tony'd know what they were... When he starts repeating himself, Matt decides it's a good time to interrupt. "Al?"

"Yeah Mattie?"

The grin isn't even being hidden anymore, and even America can tell that his brother's barely holding back from full out laughter. "Those weren't monsters."

"What?"

"They weren't monsters, Al. Those were my house hippos! I left that toast out for them so they could have something to eat!"

"Your what?"

"House hippos! Remember?" Matthew's grin fades a bit when he sees Alfred's blank look. "You used to have them too. They were mostly only in your northeast though, so maybe you wouldn't remember. They disappeared about 10 years ago, but they've been making a comeback here."

"... So you have mini-hippos in your living room?"

Canada shrugs, apparently unconcerned as he spreads peanut butter on the fresh slices of toast. "If they're living here, then I know they're back for good and aren't actually extinct."

America snorts out a little laugh. "You're such a tree-hugger, Mattie."

Canada rolls his eyes and hands America the toast. "You ate their food, so you get to put these back where I had them before. And make sure their nests behind the couch and bookshelves aren't too mangled."

"Okay, okay." He pauses before walking away though, looking at his brother from the corner of his eye. "You'll still talk to Iggy about the ghosts though, right?" 

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AUTHOR NOTE TIME!

So Alfred is both awesome and the bane of my existence. He fought this fic SO HARD. Then I sic'ed Kuma on him, and all was good. :3

Also, some of you may or may not recognize part of one of Al's lines from an (amazingly awesome) fanfic called Giving In. The line regarding Matt going crazy and wondering where to bury the bodies belongs to Artificial Starlight. Who I have asked regarding my use of it, and she was okay with it. :) Which is awesome, cause I really like that line, and it'd typed itself in before I realized it, and I would've been sad to have to remove it.

For anyone that's wondering just what a House Hippo is, they're from a commercial that was aired back in the 90's as an attempt to get kids to think about what they saw on TV and not take anything for granted. The link is here: .com/watch?v=NBfi8OEz0rA

Unfortunately, a lot of us ended up thinking they were real and leaving out peanut butter and toast for them. At least, I know I did. :D So when I saw the commercials making a comeback, Hetalia instantly sprang to mind, and this was born. 

~Koosei


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